Want
by shounenai4life
Summary: Mello thought love was pointless. So when someone comes that can possibly steal his heart, he shuns them, making sure there's no way to get in. The problem is, what happens when that someone is too irresistible to let go? MelloxNear,AU high school setting
1. Chapter 1

This is dedicated to you Sammy! Happy birthday!

Completely random story, actually just thinking of all this stuff as I go along. Hope you like it. Warning, Slash, SLASH, SLASH!! Eventual Mello/Near, random and intermittent L/Light, Matt/Mello, (not permanent, very brief and usually leading to awkward feelings afterwards), and Matt/Near (very awkward and usually under the influence of boredom.)

* * *

Mello tapped his pencil against the plastic surface of the cafeteria table. It was cold, and sticky with juice spilt and not properly wiped off. He glared at the table, as if it were the cause for his unease.

Matt looked up from under a shock of red hair, looked up from the game he'd been playing for three days straight and it almost startled Mello to see it. Usually Matt never looked up from a game till he'd finished it, and then Mello would have a few blissful days, and if he was lucky, months till Matt got a new one, during which time he'd have grasped the other boys full attention.

But Matt was looking at him now, intently, even though he had a fairly new game in front of him, glaring off the shiny screen of his P.S.P. "Listen." He hissed, reaching across the table and grabbing a fistful of Mello's leather jacket. "You are annoying me now. So just stop ok?"

"What the hell?" Mello said in annoyance, pushing him away. "Stop what?"

"You're making me worry about you, and when I'm worried about you I can't focus on anything else and that pisses me off to no end." Matt grumbled, brushing hair from in front of his goggles.

"Sorry that I'm forcing the good friend hidden deep inside out of you." Mello said, smiling a little to himself. This was Matt's way of showing he cared. "You should be." Matt snapped. "What's wrong with you? You're not talking to me anymore, and you sit there half the time just staring into space like a freaking stereotypical emo. This has been going on for days. Just tell me!"

"I don't know!" Mello said, clinging to strands of his blond hair as if they were the last of his sanity.

"Does it have anything to do with that fight with Light?" Matt asked, actually _shutting off _the game, making Mello realize just how much he cared.

'I must seem really depressed.' He thought frantically. "No. That was week's ago." he said out loud.

"Something to do with L then?" Matt continued.

Mello shook his head.

"Me?" Matt said quietly, almost afraid to ask. This time Mello shook his head more fervently, to make sure there was no trace of doubt in Matt's mind. "No." he said, laying his head in his arms, suddenly feeling emotionally drained.

"Are you…are you pregnant boss?" Matt said unsurely, his voice suddenly trembling. Reaching up, Mello slapped Matt sharply across the face. Sometime's he wondered about his best friend, and for a brief moment he wondered where L was, so he could have some sort of decent conversation.

"Ok. So I won't rule that option out but I won't say it again." Matt said rubbing his cheek. "All's I'm sayin' is that you've been acting really weird lately, and if I can't get it out of you, I'll send L or Light after you."

"If you can get them to stop making out for five seconds." Mello said cheekily.

"Why do you keep insisting that those two are in a relationship??" Matt sapped. "They're not! Light has that stupid Misa girl clinging to him so much that she would know if anything was happening, and L has never been romantically interested in anyone in his whole life."

"I just think that they were made for each other is all." Mello shrugged, his hair falling into his face. "I don't care what you think, that's just how I feel."

Matt clicked on his game and Mello knew he'd lost the red-heads interest. He sighed and slouched back into his seat, wondering what was wrong with him and lost in a swirling mist of confusion.

"I need to go to the bathroom." He said finally, into the empty and uncaring air. Matt did a sort of half shrug before Mello got up and walked away, maneuvering through all the tables and chairs filling the cafeteria before bursting through the swinging doors and to the stillness of the empty hallway. 'I hate high school.'

Kicking some conveniently placed lockers, Mello stuffed his hands into his pockets before taking the long way to nowhere. If he knew what was wrong with himself, he would have told Matt, but he didn't, and that was the problem.

He happened to be passing the bursars office when he glanced up and saw a head of white hair. 'Strange.' He thought, stopping and peering through the transparent glass window. The head belonged to a little body, almost tiny actually, and Mello couldn't help staring at the adorable face that turned in his direction.

Immediately he regretted staring, and immediately he disliked this boy, because not only was he looking at him with distaste, but as if he knew that Mello was checking him out and knew that was happening because he was so damned cute.

Mello looked away and continued walking, his bad day turning worse. 'Stupid kid.' He thought, stuffing his hands in his pocket. He really hoped that boy hadn't been coming for a transfer. Him and those adorable big eyes…

* * *

"What's wrong now?" Matt sighed, slinging his arm around Mello's shoulder. "Is it History that pissed you off? Cause now you seem even more pissed than before."

"Do I?" Mello asked, secretly enjoying the feel of Matt's arm around him. It wasn't as if he liked Matt, not _that _way anyways, but he really liked the other boy's comfort, and actually getting attention from him.

Matt gave weary smile. "Yeah, and now you're really staring to get me worried." He stopped at his locker, which was next to L's, who was next to Mello, who's next door locker was empty.

L was hunched over his books, trying to hide a piece of candy he was eating with the metal door he was hiding behind. "L…we can all see you." Mello said patiently to his eccentric friend. "You're 6 foot tall for crying out loud."

On Matt's left, Light sniggered cruelly. "Crying out loud." He repeated. "That just sound so retarded."

Mello shot him a glare that could kill. Light was like that, mean to his friends on the outside, loving them dearly on the inside, but at the moment he couldn't deal with Light's stupid complexes.

"Ignoring you." He snapped, pulling out his biology book before slamming the locker door.

"Oww." A soft voice said from the other side of the locker. The way the lockers were set, you had to be really careful to shut the door, otherwise you'd hit the person on the other side. Mello was never really careful at all, knowing there was never someone on the other side, seeing as he had no locker mate on his left. But someone was behind there. And since he was in a bad mood already, that pissed him off even more.

"Watch where you're standing." He snapped. Then, as an afterthought, he added, "Sorry, by the way."

Closing the door properly, he looked to see whose nose he'd hit, only to see that same stupid boy from lunch.

"You!" he hissed, even though he had no reason to be mad at this boy at all.

"No, my name's Near." He replied softly, holding out his hand. Mello glanced down at it with distaste before blushing back his blond hair. "Hn." He said, feeling pathetic that it was all he could muster. But seriously, that boy was beginning to take his breath away.

Near stuffed his books into the locker, and then once again looked at Mello. "Do you know where Biology D is kept?"

Mello smiled to himself victoriously. He _did_ know where it was kept. But he wasn't about to tell this too pretty boy that was currently standing in front of him. 'Ha ha!' he thought childishly. 'I win!'

"Oh, just follow us." Matt called, smiling cheerfully. "We're going there right now."

Mello frowned at Matt as if he should've known that in telling this stupid little boy where his class was, instead of letting him wonder around aimlessly like a lost and pathetic puppy, he was ruining his life's dreams. 'Curse you Matt.' He thought, mentally shaking his fist in the air.

"Thank you." Near smiled, still staring at Mello, as if he'd been the one to answer.

'Noooo! Biology is the only class I get to spend with all my friends! He's not my friend! He can't come!!' Mello thought, feeling defeated. Usually he wasn't like this. Usually he was sane. But today he felt so hormone enraged that he wondered if he was pregnant.

Matt was tugging the boys arm eagerly, as if he _wanted_ him to come, and it pissed him off even more. The only thing that cheered him up slightly was the fact that Light and L were talking, really talking, serious talking, not even fool-around- hit-me-I-hit-you-back-type-talking. And when the talked like this, Mello's imagination went haywire.

"Hey, you looked kind of sick this morning." Light said, not even looking at L, who was staring intently at his fingernails. "Were you?"

That's what he'd said. But what Mello heard him say was that, with the addition of gently caressing L's cheek and chin. L would blush and the whole world would disappear. Then there would be a swirling mist as the boy's moved closer together and the romantic background music rose to a crescendo.

"No." L would whisper, unconvincingly, causing Light to raise his eyebrows. "You're so cute when you lie to me." He would reply in a darkly seducing voice. The L would blush again, and Light would lean in gently. And then…

"ARE YOU YAOI FANTASISNG ABOUT ME AND L _AGAIN_!!" Light screeched, smacking Mello across his silky blond head. "First you did that manga and now this! Get you're head out of those freakish porno clouds of yours!"

L blinked, staring from Light to Mello. "Now now Light, if Mello thinks we're a cute yaoi couple, then let him. It's not like anything will come of it. And no, I wasn't sick this morning…I think."

Mello stuck his tongue out at Light, wishing the boy was really as gentle as he was in all his fantasies. "So I like yaoi." He said defensively. "Is that not normal for a boy?"

Matt looked back at him as they got to the classroom, fiddling with his goggles. "Well, you keep fantasizing about you're best friends being together and the only boy I know who actually like's yaoi…"

"I like yaoi." Near said quietly and suddenly.

"Well that's good, because all the hot guys at this school are conveniently gay, and the school is conveniently made up of mostly boys, because their mostly gay." Matt said cheerfully.

"That's why I moved here." Near said.

"I don't like yaoi anymore." Mello said childishly and grumpily, sitting down, not liking the fact that he and the white-haired midget had similarities.

"Actually," L said, sitting on the bench, feet flat, knees up in that entirely peculiar way of his. "I find it rather enthralling. Kind of naughty."

"Which makes sense seeing as you think naughty is stealing candy from our fridge at night." Light said dryly, sitting beside him.

"And then he goes back to your bedroom and you find him and 'punish' him right?" Mello said excitedly.

"Yeah...sure." Light said rolling his eyes.

"P-punish?" L whimpered.

"You guys are crazy." Near said, looking soft of bewildered.

"Want to sit with us then?" Matt asked, smiling warmly, as if being crazy was an automatic invite for people to sit with you.

Near looked around. "I don't want to cause a fuss."

"You hear that? Let the kid go." Mello said resolutely.

"No it's okay. You're new, you need friends. Sit down." Matt said, petting the seat behind him, _Mello's_ seat.

Mello seethed, knowing he was defeated and sat on the other side of the white-haired alien.

'I hate you!' he thought angrily, staring at him. But even when he wanted to take his eyes off of him, he couldn't.

* * *

There, first chapter done. How'd you like it? A bit short but they will get longer soon enough. Just a taste to see if it was okay. Happy birthday Samantha, and happy reading everyone else! -


	2. Chapter 2

Mello lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

He'd gotten home two hours ago, and all he'd been doing since then, was stare at the ceiling. And still, after those two hours, he couldn't get that boy with the freakish white hair and huge grey eyes out of his mind. And that pissed him off. He rolled over, feeling bored and annoyed. Annoyed that he was bored and that his ceiling wasn't interesting to look at, annoyed that Junjou Romantica had been cancelled that week, annoyed that his hair wasn't long enough to cosplay everyone that he thought of, annoyed that dogs couldn't talk.

He was just annoyed.

So, being himself, he did what he always did when he was annoyed. He stuck his hand down his already way too tight pants, and began to entertain himself. Mello had learned over time that making strange noises while he entertained himself, lead to strange questions and long talks when anyone happened to be walking outside. So he'd learnt to keep quiet while he played his one man game.

The door opened, and he wished that he'd been making noises…

"Oh….oh crap!" Matt shouted, pulling his goggles over his eyes as if they would help him shield himself from the embarrassing moment.

Mello threw his head back, in annoyance, and because he'd just gotten the…err…fruits of his labor.

"Mah-hat!!" He yelped. "Knock! Why cant you ever freaking knock!"

Matt blushed crimson as he hastily lit a cigarette in an effort to look cool. "Because you've never told me to knock before." He said, averting his eyes and walking into the room.

"Well do it from now on!" Mello said, sitting up and pulling his hand out of his jeans.

"I never knew you masturbated…" Matt said slowly, as if he was processing the information.

"Shut up!" Mello said, springing up and grabbing his neck. "If you tell a soul…"

"What, you're going to 'pump' me to death?" Matt laughed at his own joke, puffing smoke into Mello's face.

Mello gritted his teeth, angry that he no longer scared Matt. "Just shut up." He said. "Everyone has needs."

"I know what you need." Matt said, sitting on his bed. "A man. Someone to help you…relieve yourself."

"Just. Shut. Up." Mello said, knowing exactly where Matt was going.

"Like…" Matt said, slinging his arm around Mello's neck and pulling him down. "That new guy."

Mello shoved Matt in the stomach, and then walked to the bathroom, not wanting him to see just how much he was blushing.

"SHUT UP!" He screamed, washing his hands.

"You like him!" Matt called. "You do, I could see it all over you're face. You're crushing like a piece of paper of!"

Mello washed his hands again, pumping the liquid dispenser like he wanted to kill it. "And he was so flirting with you too!" Matt screeched.

"YOU know why that thought shouldn't even be crossing my mind." Mello said. "You know how dangerous that would be for me."

Matt fell silent. "I guess…" he said. "But you like him."

"I do." Mello said. "So I'm going to hate him and do my best to steer clear from him."

"Not again." Matt whined. "Why cant you just succumb to the fact that you like men?"

"Because circumstances don't allow." Mello hissed, not believing that Matt was bringing this up, not after he knew everything.

"So you're just going to let the true love of your life slip between your fingers?" Matt asked pesteringly, staring at Mello as he sat beside him. "Yeah, if it's a guy…I guess I am." He said.

"Baka." "Matt whispered. Mello sighed.

"You're telling me?"

* * *

History was now Mello's most hated subject, as well as Math, Biology and French. Why? Because _he_, the adorable kid with the huge eyes and the almost expressionless face, was in all of those classes. History was the worst though, for not only was he in the class, but he was the only one in there that Mello knew. History mostly complied of seniors, and being a junior, there weren't really anymore in that class. 'Except for him!' Mello screamed mentally, watching the boy…the…the 'Near', sit beside him.

"Do you like history?" Near asked, making his pencil stand up and walk across the desk with his hand.

Mello stared at the whiteboard, hoping that if he didn't look at Near, he might disappear .Was it stupid to hate someone because they looked like they could make you love them?

"Hellooo." Near said, and Mello felt a tiny finger poking him gently in the side.

"I guess." He mumbled, not looking at Near, suddenly finding the rosary beads hanging in front of him very interesting…

"I love it." Near said quietly. "I guess…it's because I'm an orphan, I don't really know much about my past. So learning about the past of us all is pretty comforting."

Mello couldn't keep his eyes from widening. It was as if this boy had picked his brain. 'That's exactly why I do it…'

Near started humming, as if he didn't know that he'd inserted a love bomb in Mello's heart. 'He's doing this all on purpose. It's only been a week and I can't get him out of my mind!'

Love was something Mello had heard about, mildly in guidance class, watched a lot of in yaoi, wished for a lot of between L and Light, but still managed to escape his level of understanding. Why did people bother with it? He wouldn't, and this _child _would _not_ reel him in with those…big grey eyes.

Near smiled, slightly happy that Mello was looking at him, even though he found it strange that Mello kept his mouth open when he looked at people, and a little string of dribble was forming on his chin…

"Well, I hope I'm not too behind. I've missed two weeks." Near said thoughtfully.

"Just know," Mello said. "We mostly get projects to work on, so they're going to assign us partners."

Near nodded, watching the hat being passed out the room, watched the papers that everyone was plucking out. "I hope I get you." He said, smiling at Mello.

'Not a chance in hell.' Mello thought. '25 kids in the class, and I'm definitely not getting you. A whole year with someone else as my partner. Ha! Try reel me in now!'

Near was staring at the wide-brimmed that had just been passed to him with the utmost of concentration. "Mello, Mello, Mello…" he chanted as he stared. Mello rolled his eyes. "Please." he said. "Just pick one."

Near did, and with trembling fingers opened it. Mello got the hat. It was empty. 'Great, he chanted and all that crap for nothing. It was the last paper!'

Half the class now had a piece of paper, while the other was empty-handed.

"Ok, people with the paper, please open it." The teacher called from the front of the room. Near ripped his open, then looked ready to almost cry. Mello smirked. "Who did you get?" he said, just happy it wasn't him

"Oh Mello I wanted you so bad. But all I got was the guy named…Miheal Keehl." Near whimpered. Mello wanted to shoot himself, and at the same time, cringe at the sound of his real name.

"Oh…" Mello found himself saying. "Well…that's just too bad."

Near began calling out. "Is there anyone named Miheal in this class? I've gotten you for my partner."

"Isn't that your given name Mello?" A boy that Mello didn't really know, but who was now officially on his hit list said.

Near turned to Mello and smiled. "Oh. Are you so used to the name Mello that you forgot your real name?" He said, clutching the paper to his chest.

"Sure." Mello said, rolling his eyes. "Right."

He wished he had his gun.

* * *

'Everything is pushing me in the direction of that boy!' Mello thought angrily that night, flinging a hacky sack at his ceiling. The apartment was quiet, seeing as he was the only one in it, and he almost wished that he didn't live alone. What was up with him anyways? Why was he so sweet, and cute and attractive? What was wrong with him. Why was he so perfect!

"Guess who I brought!" Matt said from outside, the memory of walking in on Mello still fresh in his mind. "You dream come true!"

"L and Light are finally together??" Mello said excitedly, sitting up out of bed.

"Nooo." Matt said in a sing-song voice. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah." Mello reddened slightly, the memory of the night before still fresh in _his_ memory as well. Matt pushed the door in and Mello wanted to slam it back in his face when he saw Mello's hands on the shoulders of his unofficial most hated enemy.

"He wanted to find the way to your house but he didn't know it so I helped him out." Matt grinned, ducking before Mello's pillow could hit him.

"I wanted to discuss what we would do for our first history project." Near said, frightened by the look of death in Mello's eyes. "You know, the one we got earlier today?"

He looked scared, much more scared than usual, and that pissed Mello off even more because it only made the other boy seem cuter.

"I don't want to do anything with you!" Mello said, finally snapping.

"B-But we have to get started. It's graded and everything…" Near tried saying. Mello cut him off. "Don't care." He said. "I hate you, don't you get it? Now if you would just leave me alone I can get back to living my life which consists of staring at this ceiling."

"But we have to do this and I thought that we could actually get to be pretty good friends!" Near squeaked, his cheeks going full blown red.

"NO. I HATE YOU!" Mello roared, wishing that he could get his point across and get this boy to leave him alone. 'I can't afford to like you. You wouldn't understand! Please, just go! You're way too tempting.'

"Why?" Near's bottom lip trembled. "Why have you hated me from I came here. I didn't do anything to you."

Matt looked concerned. "Maybe we should just go." He said, sensing the mood was far from pleasant, sensing that Mello was going to blow.

"BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING ANNOYING!" Mello stormed, knowing the reason was stupid, but not finding anything else to say with his mind all muddled as it was now.

Near stared at him with incomprehension. "That…doesn't…you asshole. You're just mean for mean's sake. Forget it, I don't even want to do anything with you!"

Mello saw the anger he'd been waiting for flash in the tiny boy's eyes before he stormed out of the room.

Matt looked after him, his jaw set. "I had to. Don't bother trying to chastise or lecture me okay?" I just had to."

Matt didn't say anything. "I'm really sorry you did. Is this really all that important?"

"Think about what would happen if I didn't." Mello said gravely. "If I fell in love with him I'd be putting him in danger and I just can't risk that."

Matt didn't press the matter any further, letting Mello sink into a depressing bout of thought.

'I hope that's it. I hope he just keeps hating me for as long as possible before he just forgets about me and moves on with his life.' Mello thought. 'I hope that was it because I don't think I can keep this up much longer.'

Matt played with his hair. "Damn the man who did this to you." He said softly, hugging Matt. "You're going to miss a lot in life."

* * *

Oooh, very evil cliffy. Lol -

Thank you:

Almighty Sponge

ForbiddenSoul562

sasunaru-yaoi-4eva39

hugsandkisses1

Koneko Otome

For your awesome reviews!


	3. Chapter 3

Correction: In the previous chapter, in the last chapter it is Matt saying the sentence and the second 'Matt' should be 'Mello.'

Disclaimer: All I own is my ideas ^-^

* * *

Mello was in a bad mood.

He'd screamed at that white haired boy the day before, telling him how he really felt and letting out all the pent up emotions he'd been harboring. Why didn't he feel good now?

He didn't, he felt terrible for doing this and so now, he was in a bad mood.

Light and L were talking animatedly about something, hopefully making engagement plans, and Matt was playing on his Ds.

Mello felt alone. Plus, he was in a bad mood.

"Hi guys." Near said softly, walking up to the table while trying to balance his lunch tray in one hand and still manage to twine his finger in his hair with the other.

It was very impractical.

"Yo." Light said solemnly. "Sit down."

Mello was now in a terrible mood.

Near sat, and Mello looked down at his tiny carton of milk as if he'd been having a decent conversation with it before Near had interrupted him.

"So…" Light said, trying to make conversation. "How do you like school here so far?"

"It's nice…everyone's been very nice to me…mostly." Near whispered, arranging his food on his plate as if they were puzzle pieces, fitting them together happily.

At this Mello flushed. Near hadn't said that he was the one being mean, he hadn't even given Mello a pointed look. But Mello knew he was the one being talked about.

He tried not to care.

He failed.

"Oh?" Light said smiling. "Who's being mean to you? Show me and I'll beat them up."

"Don't tell him!" L said, holding his hand up. "We should deduct this by using clues, like real detectives."

"We're not detectives." Light said impatiently.

"Ah. But that is where you're wrong." L smirked, eyes wide with wisdom.

Or caffeine, but no one could tell.

"So we are detectives then?" Light said dubiously, looking at L curiously.

"Yes." L's voice dropped an octave to give him an aura of mystery. "For we, are the team of Sherlock Home's, next generation ultimate ninja destroyer of evil!!" He stood up on the bench, pumping both fists into the air.

"You. Freak." Light stabbed at his macaroni, ignoring L, who was smiling at the invisible crowds before him.

Mello sighed with relief, glad L's antics had steered them away from the uncomfortable topic they'd previously been on.

It was silent for a while, and then suddenly Near looked up at him.

"I was thinking that we could meet to start our project after school." He said boldly, looking Mello in the eye.

Mello felt his eyebrow twitch. Was this freak talking to him?

This obnoxious, annoying, persistent little freak that he'd yelled at the day before was coming back.

Mello had to admire his backbone.

"Uhh…" he said, lost for words.

Near was beaming as if nothing odd had happened to him, waiting for Mello's answer.

"Sure." Mello said softly, looking down at his chocolate bar and then snatching it up in need of comfort.

Man, was this kid hard to fight off.

* * *

Matt was grinning during gym, even though he didn't get to sneak any of his game consoles into the class. He still got to listen to his IPod though so at least he wasn't drained from the lack of technology.

"Why are you smiling, dammit?" Mello snapped, bending over to stretch. He hated gym because of the loose cotton shorts they had to wear. Mello hated loose. And cotton. And shorts.

"You and Near." Matt smiled, stretching to the side. "You two make a good couple."

"Oh, go fuck yourself." Mello snapped angrily. "Good couple my frigging foot."

"Such a potty mouth." Matt frowned momentarily. "But seriously, you do. He's tiny and cute and you could just hold him all night. He doesn't seem fazed by your temper or your efforts to be emo. He'd give you the attention that you secretly crave for and it would be good for both of you."

"Just shut up." Mello bounced on his toes, hating that Matt was always right when it came to relationships, event though the only thing he'd ever dated was his laptop.

"I just don't like him, okay?"

* * *

"Okay." Matt agreed in that knowing voice that only served to piss Mello off more, sticking his ear buds back into his ear. "Whatever you say Mello."

"So what are we going to do?" Near said, sitting on the table that Mello had chosen. "I really don't know the curriculum so I'm going to have to rely on you for that."

Mello didn't look at Near, but instead busied himself with looking for books to pile the table with.

Behind him was the door leading outside.

He wanted to go.

But no, it was just his luck to be stuck in an empty library with Near.

"We should look at every one before we choose." Mello said, trying to sound as if he thought that Near was supposed to have known this for ages and he really didn't have time for stupid questions.

"Alright." Near said softly. Mello tensed when he suddenly felt a tiny finger twist itself into his hair. Looking up he saw it was Near, playing with his hair while sucking his thumb and staring off into the distance.

Mello sighed in annoyance and opened his first book, knowing it was going to be a very long time before he got home.

"It's not really a big deal you know." Mello said. "We haven't even been given our first assignment so I think you should focus on just finding out the curriculum."

The whole time he spoke he didn't look at Near once, knowing that deep grey eyes were staring at him intently. It made his heart speed up.

"You're right." Near gracefully slid off of the table and into the seat beside Mello.

"Can you tell me all the things we've done so far?"

"Here." Mello plucked out his notebook and handed it to Near. "You can just copy. It's on the first page. Give it back tomorrow."

He moved to get up but Near caught a hold of his sleeve. "Don't." he whimpered.

"Don't leave me all alone here. I'll be so bored and this is a lot to write."

Mello made the mistake of looking into Near's huge grey shining eyes. He felt his legs give way beneath him and he slid into the chair again, realizing that Near had a hold over him that he apparently wasn't strong enough to get free of.

"Thank you." Near said gratefully. "I have issues with being left alone. I've been an orphan nearly my whole life. I guess it has that effect on me."

'Stop harking about it.' Mello wanted to say. 'I'm an orphan as well and I don't go around blabbering about it.' He really didn't like the fact that Near had something in common with him, and really didn't like that Near's eyes made him just want to hold the other boy till the sad look that filled them disappeared.

He needed a distraction.

Stuffing a hand into his bag he searched around for a book to read. Coming across one, he pulled it out and opened it.

Near looked up. "What's that?" he said excitedly, looking at the drawings that stuck out between pages of Mello's book.

Most of them were of Light and L kissing or sharing some other sort of intimate moment and Near got to snatch a couple out before Mello could protest.

"These look really good." He whispered, scrutinizing the pictures. Mello grabbed them back, his face flaming.

"Don't." he said in annoyance. "Those are private."

Near looked at Mello before grinning. "Don't worry." He said softly. "Your secret is safe with me. I also see the chemistry between those too." He went back to writing and Mello hated him even more for being so self-assured.

He hated the new kid for making himself so lovable.

* * *

Sorry it if was a lil short but I wanted to end it right there! Lot's more to come.

Thank you:

xxx. fantasy (well as you probably know, it's back on ^-^)

aishiteru (told you i was updating. Happy??!)

SilentKiller1 (I totally agree, why won't he just let the yaoi flow?)

Kit-Kat Punk-Lover (lol, Mello's lost in a dream in which his best friends are together. I'm still contemplating if I want to put them together or not...ah choices)

sasunaru-yaoi... (Its true that is was necessary while still being mean, but looks like Near bounced right back huh?)

Izumiko (yeah sorry, the second 'Matt' was meant to be a Mello. Thanks for pointing it out.)

ChocolatexToys (I like making some stories fun ans simple without too much angst and losts of funny cuteness. This is one of em!)

hugsandkisses1 (shakes fist at mello* curse your complexes mello!!)

AlmightySponge (love your name btw, and you're right, they're smexy)

ForbiddenSoul562 (Thanks for the moral support and sorry for the cliffy's. I'm evil like that lol)


	4. Chapter 4

Wow, after my very evil cliffy, I never got back to this story. Writers block, no time, other stories, forgot to update, excuses, excuses, excuses. I hope no one's forgotten about this story because here's another chapter!!

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"Down. Mello, down. DOWN!" The gym coach screamed at Mello, who had been in the position to do pushups for nearly a minute now, without actually doing one.

"What?" Mello said, looking up in confusion. "Oh…oh sorry." He'd been caught up in stupid memories again, the kind that were best left alone, the kind that hurt to think about and made his head ache. That _man_. He wondered what life would've been like without that _man._ Maybe Near wouldn't hate him and be all the way one the other side of the gym, giving him occasional glances that screamed 'you hurt me and I hate you!', maybe Near would actually like him, and they could be friends.

Or maybe, they could even be more than friends.

Mello felt his heart ache.

"Focus." Matt whispered, staring at the ground. He hated gym more than any other class, not only because of his severe lack of physical strength and muscle, but also because it was the one class that he couldn't sneak games into.

"I'm focusing, dammit." Mello snapped, his hair falling in torrents over his eyes as he went down and came back up. He actually liked gym, the class where he could release his pent up frustration in strenuous work outs. Plus, he got to see hot guys in shorts.

In front of him in the line of boys doing torture exercise's were L and Light, Light struggling the least out of all the boys in the entire group, with L looking like he wanted to cry beside him.

"Only five more." Light murmured, not wanting anyone else to hear his words of motivation to L. "You can do five more, can't you?"

L breathed in deeply, feeling his arms wobble. He also hated gym. Some people just weren't cut out for anything related to sweating.

"Yeah." He said, smiling bravely for Light. "I can…can do it."

Mello grinned as he looked at them. How could anyone blame him for wanting those two to be together? They were perfect for each other and L brought out the best in Light.

"You're getting the 'yaoi look' again." Matt warned, collapsing unto his back after finishing his last push up. "What's wrong with you man?"

Mello finished his final push up and lay down as well, waiting for the rest of the class to be done. "You sure you don't want to…you know, apologize?" Matt asked softly, nodding over in the direction of Near, who was struggling to finish in the far corner of the gym.

Mello glared at him. "If I apologize he'll stop hating me." He said logically, flicking at his nails. "And I can't have that."

"Why, again?" Matt asked curiously, turning in the direction if his best friend and looking into his eyes discerningly.

"I'll like him. And we'll like each other we may even fall in love. And when I fall in love, he'll leave me. And I'll go fucking crazy." Mello said, standing as everyone did, and beginning to jog around the gym in a huge circle.

"But, he's sad." Matt said, following behind Mello, his hair flying out behind him "And he's new, and an orphan."

"We're_ all_ orphans." Mello pointed out. "Except for Light, but his parents disowned him, so technically, he's one too. Only _orphans_ come here. Only _orphans_ are allowed to board here."

"But he's a _cute_ orphan. A cute little young-looking orphan. Like…like Oliver Twist!" Matt said, smiling. "And I prefer to think of it as apartments, not that we're all locked up in ratty rooms at this boarding school."

"We _are_ all locked up in rooms at this boarding school. They call the room's apartments to make us feel better. And because they're not ratty. And because they come with living rooms and bathrooms." Mello said logically.

"He's a new orphan." Matt said, resuming the previous topic. "He needs friends."

"He has you and L and Light and he may even get Misa." Mello said, throwing his hands into the air in exasperation. "And Matsuda too! Why don't you just give him all my friends. Then you guys could all have one massive orgy in your 'apartment.'"

"Calm down." Matt sighed. "I was just saying…"

"Anyways…" Whispered Mello, suddenly turning to face Matt with a seductive look in his eyes. "Why would I be chasing after that kid. I only want _you_."

Matt stared, then blushed furiously, tripped over himself and fell, making the boys behind him have to swerve suddenly. "Curse you." He whispered. "Curse your sexiness."

Mello grinned and bowed amiably.

"Did you get invited?" A bubbly Misa asked Mello as he put his books alphabetically back into his locker.

"To?" He asked, wondering why he even had conversation with her.

"Ricky's party!" She squealed, bouncing up and down. "The hugest one of the whole year!"

"I don't know." Mello snapped. He hated parties, and wondered why people continued to invite him to them even though they knew that he hated them.

As he was about to close his locker door and invitation fluttered out. "Apparently, I did get invited." He said dryly, picking up the shiny expensive looking paper with two fingers.

"Awesome!" Misa said animatedly pumping her fist into the air. "It wouldn't be a party without you there."

"Who said I was going?" Mello retorted.

But Misa had already waltzed into Light's arms, cuddling herself against his chest as Light got out his books for 6th period and Mello frowned. 'Poor L.' He thought, watching the other boy open a chocolate bar unconcernedly beside Light. 'Even though he doesn't know it, his boyfriend is being snatched away by the annoying witch of the West.'

"Did'cha get invited?" Asked Matt, coming up to Mello's locker. Mello sighed. "Yes, yes." He mumbled. "I got freaking invited."

Why did everyone always want him to go to parties??

"Grumpy much?" Matt said. Then, looking around, he leaned in close to Mello.

"I saw Near in the bathroom. He looked like he'd been crying." He said in an undertone. "Just thought I'd let cha know."

Mello glared at him. "You're an asshole." He snapped. "If you care so damn much about him, why don't you date him?"

"You saw him first." Matt teased, bouncing shoulders with Mello.

Mello rolled his eyes, trying desperately not to smile.

"I don't even know if I'm going to this party…thing." Mello sighed. "What's the point?"

"Everyone'll be drinking." Matt pointed out.

"So?"

"With each other."

"So?" Mello said again, getting more and more annoyed.

"L and Light will be drinking."

"Uh huh…"

"With. Each. Other." Matt nudged Mello.

"Oh…Ohh!" Mello grinned. "I _defiantly_ have to go then."

The bell rang and upon hearing it Near began running down the hallway, having just come out of the bathroom. He didn't remember his next class, but if he could just find Matt then he'd be able to find out…

He was so busy thinking about all of this that he missed the 'wet floor' sign.

…His feet flew out in front of him and he waved his arms wildly trying to catch his balance. Skidding down the hallway at top speed his legs finally gave way and he collapsed.

Right into Mello's arms.

Mello stared down at him coldly, as if it were Near's fault he'd landed where he had. He also cursed himself for being such a good citizen, and cursed himself for having the reflexes that he did. Near stood, shakily, and stared back at Mello, his bottom lip trembling, his eyes questioning.

'Why does he hate me?' He thought sadly.

"Are you alright?" L asked from his locker, slowly licking the wrapper of his chocolate bar. Near nodded, and turned swiftly, rushing off. "I'm going to be late for class." He called back softly. "T-thank you, Mello."

"Don't rush!" Matt called after him. "Its…free period." But Near had long gone.

He turned to glare at Mello. "You're going to hurt him." He said. "And then he'll be like you, untrusting and unable to love. Don't let the cycle continue man."

Mello looked uncomfortably to the ground. "Its not like I want to." He said, felling bad. "He should stop being so persistent."

Mello was glad when school was out for the day, and he dragged himself to his apartment room, locking the door behind him. It was times like these that he loved getting to be one of the few boarders that got to live alone. He crawled unto his bed, caressing the pillow. Maybe he would take a nap before he stared working. Or maybe he would watch some T.V. Or even try to cry. He felt like he really needed to have a good cry.

L boarded with Light and Matt boarded with Matsuda, so he felt pretty good about his luck at getting to be alone.

That luck was about to change.

There was a soft knock on his door, and Mello pondered if he should just leave it alone before he annoyedly slid off the bed and walked to it.

Always open the door when at a boarding school.

"What?" He said, letting his voice fade off as he stared down in shock at who dared to stand in the presence of his doorway. It was Near.

Of course.

"They told me that I had to come here to stay." Near said haughtily, coming in before Mello could even say anything. "Because there's a spare bed in here and there aren't that many around."

He plopped his suitcase unto said spare bed and looked over at Mello. "That won't be a problem, will it?"

Mello stared at Near like a fish out of water, his eyes practically bugging from his skull. "You, you're staying here?"

Near stared back at him, his huge eyes reflecting sadness. "What's wrong with me staying here?" He said.

"Why didn't you request another room?" Mello asked, his voice sounding oddly high pitched even to himself. "Why would you want to stay in a room with a psycho like me? I yelled at you! I made you cry!"

"I never cried." Near said softly, opening his suitcase and beginning to unpack.

"Well, I made you angry." Mello stomped his foot angrily. "Why didn't you ask to stay in another room?"

"Because I want to stay with you." Near said gently, walking over to the spare closet beside his bed and opening it, slowly beginning to put the clothes in. "I forgive you. You were obviously just very upset and I shouldn't have intruded."

Mello stared at Near in disbelief. "You forgive me??" He asked in outrage. "You can't forgive me!"

Near giggled. "Too late." He said happily. Mello stared at him, and then tensed as he felt Near walk up to him.

"I think we're going to be really good friends." Near murmured.

Mello felt his heart racing in his chest. 'It's almost like its destiny that we're being drawn together like this.'

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Please don't hate me for not updating for so long. *Bows head in shame*


	5. Chapter 5

Talk about not updating in forever! How have you guys been? O-o *Laughs nervously* I'm back, ok! AND I WILL FINISH THIS! Sweatdrop* =)

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Near smiled over his shoulder as he filled his dresser. "These rooms are so gorgeous…" He said wistfully. "Much better than what I'm used to."

Mello sneered from his bed and turned away. 'SHIIT!' This boy was driving him mad. He was so damned adorable, and he'd forgiven him? Mello clutched his pillow to his chest, feeling his heart racing so fast in his chest. He couldn't let this happen, he wouldn't! He wasn't going to go crazy again, with love, with need only to be left with a broken soul.

Near closed the last drawer and walked over to his bed, perching on the edge of it. "So…why don't we work on our project?" Mello grit his teeth. He'd rather fail than spend time with Near at the moment.

"Uhh…Junjou Romantica…" He said weakly, clicking on the television. "I gotta watch it." Nears eyes widened and Mello's heart was now pounding against his chest, trying to get out. "I love that show!" Near beamed, jumping up and crawling over to Mello's bed. Mello gasped as Near came close to him. He could only stare ahead of him and hope Near wouldn't look at him with those eyes again.

"P-personal space!" He finally squeaked out, still refusing to look in Near's direction. Near sighed. "I can't see the tv properly from my bed." He said, pouting slightly. "Please can I stay here?"

It was all Mello could do to keep himself from reaching over and just kissing Near. 'What? No! NO!' He jumped up from the bed, collapsing unto the ground before jumping up. 'NO!'

Near stared at him. "Are you ok?" He asked, eyebrows drawn together. 'No!' Mello's mind screamed hysterically. "Perfectly fine!" He squeaked. "Just…uhh….see you later…" He raced for the door, yanking it open and tearing down the hall for Matt.

"This c-can't be happening." Mello shook his head, clinging to Matt desperately. "I have to have him hate me!"

Matt pet Mello's back. "What could be so wrong with liking him?" He asked, looking down into Mello's blood shot eyes. "Don't even ask that!" Mello snapped, still clinging to Matt. "You KNOW what could be so wrong."

"You know Mello…there's a slight chance that each and every person in the world isn't like everyone else. Just because…something happened to you once, doesn't mean it has to again." Matt said comfortingly, stroking back Mello's hair. "Now deal with this, you're seriously getting into my game time."

Mello shook his head, still clinging to Matt. "I c-can't deal with it." He stuttered. "He's a voodoo master! He's drawing me in with his eyes and his face and his…cute."

Matt smirked. "Whatever you say." He said. "You're going to have to sleep in the same room as him, tonight and every night from here on. See how much you can avoid him with him stepping out of the shower every morning all gleaming wet and warm and ho-"

"Ok, I'll go back!" Mello said, pulling away, his face on fire. He stormed towards Matt's door, pausing before walking back to his fate. 'I can handle anything he has to send towards me…' He thought. 'Anything!'

As he stepped into his room there was Near, wrapped in a towel, gleaming wet and warm…and hot. Mello's mouth opened. Near hadn't seen him, and the towel he'd been holding loosely around his waist was falling away. Mello seriously contemplated staying quiet and just watching the show before him but he was pretty sure that wouldn't help with the whole 'Don't fall for Near' thing. He cleared his throat. "Don't blind me now…" He said weakly, forcing a smirk.

Near turned and blushed furiously. "Sorry!" He said, pulling up the towel right as Mello was about to see the beautiful holy grail. "I didn't mean to flash you."

Mello crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah, I'd like to keep my lunch down." He sneered, trying HARD to avoid the temptation to jump Near and ravage him all over. Near's eyebrows drew together and he bit his lips. "Ok. Sorry." He said, grabbing his clothes out of his drawer and rushing back to the bathroom. Mello felt his stomach sink. Ok, he could admit, that one had been pretty cold. But apologizing would make Near think he cared about his feelings (which he did), and he couldn't let that happen. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Update! Please review with your input everyone! Its very motivating and has been proven to increase updates by up to 60% ^^ Thank you!

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Mello's words ran through Near's head over and over, having him glance furtively around the library, wondering if Mello was standing at the door, gazing at him with that same condescending look. He poked his stomach, wondering if he really was as hideous as Mello thought he was. Due to the fact that he hadn't really thought about his physical appearance much before, he supposed he had to be right.

"Don't." Matt said, smiling as he slid into the seat across from Near. "Don't get self-conscious…"

Near blushed furiously, his nose tingling with the sensation. "Wha-?" He tried, but Matt interrupted.

"Mello's going to do that, and keep doing that, because he's attracted to you. Trust me." Matt said, nodding knowingly. His fingers danced along the buttons of his psp, although he kept his eyes on Near. Near glanced down but decided to shrug it off and just listen to this bizarre goggle-headed genius.

"You've got to impress him." Matt continued, his eyes shining. "Catch him off-guard and he'll show you his true self, if even for a second. Trust me, I'm very good at doing it. In fact, I'll demonstrate today…after dinner."

Near gazed into goggle-boy's eyes. They were striking and filled with a mischievousness that excited him to be a part of. He smiled shyly. "Ok…" he said. "T-tell me more…"

"Matt?" Mello looked up from the project he'd been working on, alone. His plan was to finish half and tell Near close to the due date so he wouldn't actually have to do anything with him. But he had to work when Near wasn't around, in fear of getting caught. He sat up and pushed his books aside, in case Near was close by.

Matt sat beside Mello, deliberately running his fingers slowly through his vibrant hair. "Wha…what's going on?" Mello said, momentarily distracted by the uncharacteristically sensual move. "Nothing, really, I'm just stuck on this level of C.O.D and its really stressing…" Matt said, throwing in a totally uncharacteristic pout. Mello blinked and found himself gazing at Matt's lips. "Oh?" He said faintly. Matt never came to him about problems with games…and he'd never been stuck in one before. But he felt somehow distracted and really wasn't in the mood to ask about it at all.

Matt nodded and leaned against Mello, making his eyes widen at the total….uncharactisticalness of all of this. "Matt… he said softly.

"You know what would really help?" Matt said, looking up suddenly. His arms snaked around Mello's neck. Mello shook his blond head, lost for words. "A kiss…"

The room fell silent. Mello fought to find something snide and sarcastic to say, but nothing came to mind. Matt looked so sad, and dare he say…cute? He wanted to fix it. Could something as simple as a peck on the lips do that? Why deny him that?

Matt watched Mello calculating in his mind and smiled to himself. This would be even easier for Near, who was even more adorable than he was, AND was the one Mello actually liked. He only hoped Near was watching from the closet carefully, as he had instructed. His cheeks flushed as he realized the one thing he hadn't thought about. Asking Mello to kiss him, meant…meant Mello was actually going to kiss him, didn't it?

"M-Mello…" He whispered, as Mello's face began drifting towards his. "I actually f-feel a lot better now. I guess just holding you is-" Mello cut him off with a kiss, as sweet, endearing little kiss that sent unexpected tingles up and down his spine. Mello smiled a little and he found himself smiling too. 'What was that?' He thought wildly. That wasn't what was supposed to happen…was it? He couldn't remember.

Near stood in the closet, having gotten in through the secret entrance Matt had told him about. He watched Matt sitting there, a blush on his cheeks and a bewildered expression on his face. He decided Matt must be an amazing actor. Sitting there he looked…almost as if he was developing a crush on Mello…

"Well…I need to go…and finish that dinner…game food." Matt mumbled, standing shakily. He felt weird all over, and itchy, tingly. Mello looked up at him, confusion all over his face. 'What just happened?'

* * *

"So you've gotten one of the three things you have to do down pat…" Matt said with a nod of satisfaction. Now you just have to make sure you look totally adorable without trying too hard at the party. And you have to know how to lure him in and let him off just enough so that he'll come right back to you."

Near nodded, wiggling his toes as he sat on Matt's bed. "You're a very good actor." He said softly. "You looked as if you had feelings for Mello for a little while." Matt looked up sharply, before his eyes softened at the totally clueless look in Near's eyes. "Well….if you play enough virtual novels…you develop some…" He didn't bother finishing. Near's eyes had trailed off, lost in a world he was sure he would never understand.

Like.

Mello?

It was absurd. He didn't like Mello. He didn't like anyone. Especially not Mello. He'd never even kissed anyone, and hadn't thought about it either. He waved absent-mindedly to Near and walked from his own room. He was setting Near up with Mello because he wanted him to be happy, right?

But…couldn't he make Mello happy? He wrapped his arms around himself, suddenly confused. Why was he thinking these things? About Mello? He felt his cheeks light up in flames as he saw Mello walking down the hallway, that adorable 'I-Just-Got-A-Great-Idea-For-A-Yaoi-And-I'm-Going-To-Write-It-Until-I-Fall-Into-A-Sleep-Deprived-Coma' look on his face.

He turned and began walking in the other direction, only to see L and Light at the top of the stairs, L giggling as Light tried getting L's pants up over his slender hips. "What did I say about wearing a belt?" Light scolded, trying to get his fingers to stop brushing L's paper flat stomach underneath L's baggy shirt, which only sent L into another flurry of giggles, ruining all progress Light had made. Even Matt had to smile at the sight. Now he knew the reason for Mello's crazy eyes…

Mello typed avidly, his mind a blur. It was as if L and Light literally dangled their fantastically gorgeous selves in front of him, to tempt him beyond belief.

_Hot lips against soft, sweet ones. A hand moving up a deliciously flat stomach. A smile. "L…" Light panted, planting intense kisses up L' s pale, exposed throat. A whimper escaped from that throat, sending vibrations all along it. Light could hardly contain himself. He delved into the captivating warmth that was L's mouth, tongue against tongue, lips clashing. A hand snaked down to L's Calvin Klein's, sending the other boy into an adorable rivet of giggles. The kisses deepened. _

"_I love you…" Whispered L, pressing that stomach Light loved so much against his. Light lost all control, picking up his lean lover and pressing him into the wall of the school corridor, finally getting his jeans off. "It should be illegal for someone with your body to wear baggy clothes…" he whispered. L couldn't respond, his entire mind and body a sea of need. He moaned Light's name, carded his fingers through his hair and pressed his face into Light's shoulder as Light took him to a whole new level of pleasure. _

"_Someone's coming…" he whispered._

"_Fuck em…" Light replied, covering L's lips with his again. _

Mello looked up to see Matt sulking past his doorway, blushing like he never had before. He opened his mouth but said nothing. Something was going on with Matt, and he guessed it was something he needed to deal with alone and wasn't his business anyways...

Little did he know it was something that had more than a little to do with him.

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I hope you liked it. Review!


	7. Reader Poll

Hey readers. Just trying to garner if this story still has anyone reading and interested. Leave a message in the review box if you'd like me to continue!


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks for your support, those who reviewed. Please continue to do so!**

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The wind was picking up outside as all the students that had been invited to the party of the year got ready. Near stood shyly in front of the mirror, trying to remember everything Matt had told him. Tiny, adorable shorts, check. Big, oversized t-shirt, also adorable, check. Tousled hair, cute small boots, bit of eyeliner, yup, he was ready.

Nervously, he looked at himself, wanting to be perfect for Mello. His heart beat fast in his chest, just thinking about what could possibly happen between them, what he wanted so much to happen.

"Knock knock." Matt said, opening the bathroom door. Near reddened as Matt took his hand and spun him, looking him over. "Fantastic. You look irresistible." Near smiled, clutching Matt's hand with his smaller one.

"Mello's downstairs." Matt informed him. "He's already begun staking out L and Light. The party's in the ballroom."

"He's already there..?" Near whispered, coiling his hair around his finger anxiously. "I-I told you we should've left earlier! . He's probably off with some adorable...bimbo right now!"

"No, it's ok." Matt grabbed Near's shoulder. "This way, he'll look at everyone else, and realize no one stirs his you come in...you'll take his breath away and weaken him. He won't be able to resist you."

"Stir his lions..?" Near asked skeptically.

"His loins." Matt corrected, reaching out to cup Near's privates with a hand, making Near whimper. "Stir them till all they can think of is stirring your insides."

"You're so filthy!" Near blushed, too shy to admit he'd been thinking about something along those lines just moments before. "Keep talking and I might just prove you correct." Matt whispered, enjoying making Near all the redder. "Now c'mon." he grabbed the smaller boy's hand and left the room.

"You guys have to try this stuff...it's the best I've ever tasted." Mello smiled, handing L and Light drinks. As L happily sipped the sweet stuff, Light squinted at Mello. "You said the last 4 drinks were the best you'd ever tasted." He said, wrapping his arm around a tipsy L's waist.

"Each was better than the the one before." Mello grinned, staring at Light's arm. Light downed the drink. "Shit, it is good." he said, using his hip to hold up L.  
"Damn straight." Mello was on the top of the world, although he knew L was at a dangerously high alcohol level. The ridiculously loud music and strobe lights probably would kill everyone anyways.

L swayed his slender hips to the music, the alcohol in his system already kicking in. "So good." he echoed, his head lolling to rest against Light's shoulder. Mello's smile turned into a beam as he watched. Nothing could ruin his day, or make it any better.

As he turned, he spotted Matt and waved, sighing when he saw he had the little white-haired kid with him. He tried to keep himself from thinking what he'd already begun thinking, but he just couldn't help thinking it. Near was incredibly adorable, it was as if someone had reached into his mind and pulled out everything he thought was cute in a person, and then...formed it into this amazing being. He stared openly, making Near blush.

"How much have you had to drink?" Matt asked, looking up briefly from his game.

"Not enough..." Mello sighed, downing another. Damn his mind for thinking such thoughts. Near smiled shyly at him and he very nearly smiled back. "Urgh!" he snapped, turning away. "I'm going to go party or something."

"But you don't know how to party!" Matt shouted after him.

"I'll figure something out." he snapped, joining the throngs of horny, grinding teenagers and awkwardly attempting to move his body. L and Light were interlocked in a dance that could only be described as ridiculously dirty, and he was too distracted by Near's adorable to even glance their way.

"We have to strike at the right moment." Matt nodded, quickly smashing various combinations of buttons on his console. Near watched Mello dance out of the corner of his eye, nodding. Matt winced, pausing to tighten the glove he had on. "Damn carpal tunnel acting up again." he snapped.

"When's the right moment?" he asked, twirling hair gently around his index finger. He bopped from foot to foot, rocking his hips gently. "When he's drunk enough to be a good dancer, but not yet drunk enough to be a bad one. It's a very thin line." Matt answered.

Near watched Mello clumsily move about. "So not yet then." he said gravely, nodding.  
Matt smiled at him. "You're adorable." he said, shaking his head. "Just watch him, he'll get there soon enough if he keeps downing drinks like that."

"Hai!" Near nodded, watching Mello carefully. "But." Matt said, holding Near's small shoulders. "Don't lose sight of him. If you lose sight of him at the wrong time...someone else might snag him."

Near stiffened, his enormous eyes unblinking. "I'll watch him carefully." he said, tightening his fists at his side.

"Good." Matt said. "Hopefully he'll see how amazing you are, and something'll spark between you tonight. I'm gonna go take a wizz, ok?"  
"Don't leave me.." Near said softly, grabbing onto Matt's jacket, while keeping an eye on Mello.  
"You'll be fine.." Matt said, smiling. "I don't want to pee myself." He loosened Near's tiny hands off of him, before rushing off.

Near stood at the end of the punch table, watching out of the corner of his eye as Mello came back over and over for the spiked drinks, and as he began finding untapped rhytym, making his dancing better and better.

He kept his eyes on him, watching, though he was already beginning to feel tired. What time was it? He clutched his cup, watching Mello weave and grind his way among all the other weavers and grinders that were...grinding. He turned to get another drink, and when he turned back, Mello had disappeared.

"Ah!" he squeaked, scanning the crowd quickly. "Wh..how!" Trembling with nerves and frustration, he made his way into the group of gyrating bodies, being bounced around as he stumbled through the darkness.

* * *

Matt, after washing and reapplying the bandages and glove to his hand, stood over the sink and sighed. Was there a way to get rid of this capal tunnel nonsense? It kept coming back, always hindering his gameplay. He wondered if he could get L and Light to make him some voice controlled game, what with their genius minds and all. He sighed, thinking about the idea of not being able to touch buttons.

"At least I have you.." he mumbled, pulling out a cigarette.

"I was about to say the same thing." An all too recognizable voice called from behind him. Matt stiffened. "Mello, get back to the party.." he said, without turning around. He already knew how Mello looked right now, oozing sexual appeal that only came about when he let his guard down. Slender hip cocked, tight, tight leather clothing, sinfully clinging to his perfect lean body and showing off everything. Sharply cut blond hair, perfect in every way. He put both hands on the sink, realizing they were shaking and kept his head turned away from Mello.

"I want to stay here, with you.." Mello said softly, in a voice that was hot enough to raise goosebumps on Matt's arms. He walked towards Matt slowly, before pressing up behind him, slinging an arm over his shoulder and interlocking it with the fingers from his other hand underneath Matt's arm, so his chest pressed firmly against Matt's back, and his lips were centimeters from Matt's neck.

"You're drunk." Matt said, feeling his voice shaking along with his hands. He felt hot and cold all over. Matt's hand trailed up his chest, and he felt his chest rising and falling. He wanted to touch him. But he couldn't. Matt needed someone like Near, Matt needed someone like Near, and he told himself that all the time, over and over.

"Save me Matt.." Mello whispered. "Just like you did before, from him. Keep me safe." he was shaking, and Matt couldn't help turning to hold him, pulling Mello's slender form towards him. "I can't." he said. "You know I can't. I was a part of that too, I affected you...and as long as you see me, you'll remember. The depression won't end and...and..." he looked down. "That's why I can never be with you. You need someone new, someone gentle.."

"You're gentle." Mello said, looking into his eyes. Matt felt his hands shaking again, and he bit his lip. "Not always." he said, looking down. "Not when it counts."  
Mello stared up at him. "You still blame yourself for what happened? I would've done the same thing. I would've..."

Matt clutched at Mello's shirt, his hands shaking so hard as he remembered the sick things they'd both pushed from their minds.

"I would've wanted to protect you too..." Mello said softly, moving closer.

"Don't..." Matt said, although he didn't pull back. He didn't want to pull back. The warmth from Mello's lips was unbearable, and he dragged him closer, feeling their hearts beating together. He wanted much more than this, and still, in the back of his mind, he knew even this was not supposed to be his. He just couldn't remember why.

* * *

O: Please review! I'm nervous to see if you guys still like the story, so leave feedback please and thanks!


	9. Chapter 9

Oh yes...Matt remembered. He'd never stopped loving Mello. He made himself forget, or try to forget, he willed himself to get over it. He hadn't. This kiss reminded him. Oh, oh shit he wanted Mello so much. And Mello was staring at him as if he wanted so much more than just a kiss. His body was warm, and ready, and Matt knew why.

He pulled back. "Mello, no." he whispered.

"Yes...it's not because of that. It's because I want you.." Mello said, closing the distance between them.  
"You're drunk, and either way, no, you don't. You never have, I don't think you ever will want me." Matt pulled back, as images flashed through his head that made his stomach hurt. He would never put Mello through what had happened before again.

Matt stepped back, escaping the room. He'd done the right thing, but it didn't feel right. He wanted to be back in there with Mello, desecrating his body. He couldn't stand to be there anymore; he couldn't stand to see anyone. Struggling through the crowd, he edged his way to the exit, his head becoming light. Mello needed to be Near's, he knew it was true, and if he knew it was true, why was he so fucking bitter about it?

* * *

"Hey, what the hell Matt?" Light cornered him on their way to class. "You left tiny Near with me and a drunk as fuck L to take home? You were supposed to be taking care of him! I saved him from some perverts about to molest him! What do you have to say for yourself?"  
"Sorry." Matt said weakly. He hadn't wanted to go to school today, but it was better than leaving himself alone with the depressing thoughts in his head.

"Not to mention Mello, also piss drunk! I'm amazing but leaving that amount of drunk to me is just cruel." Light continued.  
"Mello? What did he say?" Matt asked, trying not to sound too interested.  
"The usual. He wanted me and L to make out...why?" Light asked, arching a brow. His sharp, calculating eyes were narrowed on Matt.

"Because," Matt said cooly. "He does some pretty stupid shit when he's drunk.  
"Got that right." Light said, his eyes still calculating. Matt knew he needed to get the geniuses mind off this topic before he managed to figure everything out. "Well." he said. "Did you and L...do anything?"

Light kept his eyes narrowed, unflinching, unblushing. "That's not your business to know. When since did you care what we did, isn't that Mello's job?"  
"You did, didn't you?" Matt asked, genuinely curious now.  
"I may have accepted some of his advances." Light's eyes flickered with some shyness. "I-I was under the influence of alcohol myself."  
Matt smirked. "What kind of...advances?" he asked.  
"It's...that's...not for you to know!" Light turned away, his cheeks beginning to redden.  
Matt sighed inwardly, happy he'd dodged the bullet. Light stormed off, without looking back, no doubt to hide his blushing cheeks. Matt wondered just what they'd done and how they felt about doing it. He was sure Mello knew it all by now. Would Mello even want to talk to him though? Did he remember the events of the night before? He hoped not.

He also hoped he did.

* * *

"We're actually doing pretty well on our project." Near offered meekly. He and Mello had been working in silence for an hour and it was killing him. Mello still had somewhat of a hangover, so that could be it, but he didn't think so. His face was quiet and thoughtful.  
"Were you happy last night? Seeing L and Light so close?" he continued. A small smile came to Mello's lips and he nodded, though he didn't look up. Near had so many questions. Where had Mello gone last night? Had he kissed someone? Why was he acting so strangely now? He desperately wanted to ask them.

"When you drink, you're a really amazing dancer." Near continued. "No one could keep their eyes off of you."  
'Especially me.' His mind finished the thought for him. Mello remained unresponsive. His phone buzzed and after looking at it, he suddenly stood and walked right out of the room. Near kept his head down, focusing on his page, writing notes. He really wasn't surprised.

"Finally, you replied to me." Mello said, striding to Matt. "I've been texting you like crazy."  
"I was in a lab." Matt said. "And anyways, I needed to think."  
"About...?" Mello asked gently.  
"I let myself think that I could have you even for a second last night." Matt said slowly. "I thought, why should I give up Mello because of something that I didn't even do?"  
"It wouldn't be.." Mello tried to say.  
"Wait." Matt interjected, before continuing. "Then I realize it's not giving you up, it's letting you go. To someone, and something, better."  
"Matt!"  
"Wait." Matt said forcefully. "You lost your virginity to a complete pervert because I was so jealous at the thought of you liking him more than me that I left you alone with him. I let you get into an abusive relationship when you were fucking...14, all because I was too full of myself to turn around and see that you needed me. I turned my back because I'm too hot-headed to see what's best for you , and only want you for me. You don't like to say it, you don't like to talk about it, but you were raped, Mello."

Mello flinched but kept staring at him. "You were raped by someone 6 years older than you. And you tried to reach out to me but I didn't catch on. I didn't try. I say all the time, I didn't do it, it's not my fault because I had nothing to do with it. But I'm your best friend; my job is to protect you, to know when you're in pain, and I didn't. Even when I started to suspect the relationship was messed up, I was too much of a sore loser to look into it. You need someone that isn't a sore loser. Someone that'll see you bruised and find out why, no matter what. Someone that...even after you get drunk and make out with a douche in a bathroom, still cares about you and is ready to accept you the next day. Someone amazing. Someone..."

"Near." Mello said, his brow furrowed.

"Near." Matt echoed.

* * *

Please review!


	10. Chapter 10

If you didn't know, I'm currently trying to finish all my old stories that I've been writing for years now. I really want to start writing new material, but I don't want to leave any open ends. Here's the last chapter!

* * *

Mello nodded, feeling a shiver run through him. Near. Matt smiled at him. "I love you so much." he said firmly. "So much that when I see what's good for you, I'm totally willing to give you up."

Mello grinned. "K..." he said shakily, unsure of what else to say.  
"Go." Matt grinned, wrapping his arms around himself. "Just go."

Mello took off, tearing back towards the library, to Near. Nothing, at the moment, was more important. Except...L and Light kissing in an empty classroom, L pressing in between Light's legs as Light sat on the teachers desk. Mello stopped, and stared.

Light was smiling, genuinely, his cheeks flushed with nerves and embarrassment. L was the one in control, lightly leaning in, tipping his head, to capture Light's lips against his. Light looked down, still grinning. "I'm guessing that's a yes then." he mumbled, in a voice that sounded very much unlike his usual self. It almost sounded-unsure.  
L nodded, kissing him again, this time pulling Light close to him. "You're lips are the sweetest things I've ever tasted." he said in awe. Light went full-on red and made a half-whimpering sound, which L cut off with another kiss, and then another.

It was then that Mello pulled from the window, his face also red. He wrapped his arms around himself. They looked beyond happy together, and he wanted that for himself, as quickly as possible. He wasn't going to deny himself what he deserved anymore. He deserved someone that he could make half-whimper, whose face would make him grin just to see it. Someone who would actually put up with him. He began running again.

Near desperately tried to focus on his school work. Every 5 seconds, his stomach gripped with anxiety. He really wanted to talk to Mello about what had happened the night before. Even Matt seemed to be acting a little weird about it. He stared at his notebook, blinking rapidly to prevent himself from crying. The silence pressed on and on. He turned a page and looked down at his hand. It was shaking. Why did love hurt so much, and why was he so…shy, and finding it so hard to do anything about how he felt? He almost felt he should give up. How long could he go on liking Mello and being painfully rejected by him? It hurt so much.

He realized foolishly, that he could go on loving Mello for a long long time, possibly...forever. He believed in true love, and love at first sight, the zing, that feeling of intuition that Mello was the person for him. His shoulders lifted resiliently. Maybe, he was shy, and weak, but he would not stop loving Mello, never. And that made him deserving of Mello's love.

He stood up and yanked open the door, storming out into the hall. He was going to continue loving Mello to the best of his ability, whether Mello liked it, or cared. "Near!" Mello called from down the hall, striding towards him. He stopped and made fists at his side, looking down. He wasn't ready! He was wearing flannel pjs and had bed head and...he began shaking. How did Mello manage to make him feel like this?

Mello stared at Near in the light of the hallway. He'd never seen anyone more adorable. "You...hey." he started, smiling. "Hey." Near managed to get out, raising his eyes to meet Mello's. He turned and walked back towards his room, and Mello followed him in, shutting the door behind him.

"Is it something about the project?" Near asked. "I've worked on another chapter, I think we're almost do-"  
"I kissed Matt last night." Mello said, crossing his arms. Near had not expected that. Anger flared within him, quick and strong, and a feeling of being slapped in the face, but he said nothing, for fear he'd just...throw up or worse.

Mello sat on the bed. "When I was drunk." he added. Near looked at him sullenly. At least now his question was answered. "I thought I should tell you." Mello continued. "Matt used to like me a lot...I think...he might still, a little bit." Near furrowed his brow, feeling stupid. He really wish he'd known that before confiding so much to Matt. Had Matt been playing with him all along, with the intention of keeping Mello for himself?

"Before you think anything." Mello said, noting the adorable, angry face of Near. "He refused to kiss me back. He reminded me of all the reasons why he and I are not meant to be as a couple, and why...why I really should open my heart a little bit to someone new."

Near looked up at Mello, a smile creeping onto his lips. I'm kind of new." he mumbled, still a little unsure of how he was to feel. His heart pounded. "And I kind of want to..be with you." he said, looking down at Near. "I-I mean..." he mumbled. "I want to try...I want to go...out...with you...to start...just to try..."

Feelings bubbled in Near's stomach, and he wanted to smile, and wanted to kiss Mello. But he was so shy. Still...he wanted to...he wanted...Mello...

"But I'm scared, I'm so used to just feeling pain and I never..." Mello went on. Near took a big breath, slid into Mello's lap and kissed him full on the lips. "Let's go out for dinner sometime." he smiled, his cheeks bright red. Mello stared at Near for a while, before breaking into a smile and pulling Near to him. "You are really cute." he said, tipping Near's chin. He still felt a little strange about where this was going and how he was going to deal with it. But it was the good kind of strange.

"How does this weekend sound?" He asked, watching Near's face light up.

He could get used to this feeling.

* * *

Matt sat alone in the stairwell, gaming. The hallways were dark; only the light of his little console illuminated his tear-streaked face. He pounded buttons, as the tears drip-dropped unto the console, down his hot cheeks. He jumped when he heard someone's footsteps coming down the hall. He looked up. "Mikami." he said, clearing his throat, though he couldn't wipe the tears without being obvious. Mikami adjusted his glasses, looking down at Matt calculatingly for a while. "You're crying." he said finally, stiffly. "Why is that?"

"Just...mourning a loss." Matt said carefully, putting the console down. Mikami looked at him for a while again, before finally sitting beside him. "I'm sorry." he said. "The world is unfair and it shouldn't be so."  
"And yet it is." Matt said sullenly. He felt a warm hand on his cheek and looked up at Mikami, his breath catching. Mikami wiped his cheeks, then let his hands linger. Matt stared at him. "What..." he asked quietly. Mikami still hadn't let go, and his cheeks were only heating.

"I like you."Mikami said simply, pulling back his hands. "So...I don't like to see you cry." Matt's eyes widened. "You've never said anything. " he whispered. Mikami shrugged. "We've never gotten to speak." Matt fell quiet, thoughtful. Mikami's hand sat on the stair between them and he covered it with his own, moving just a little closer. He didn't know what to make of what Mikami said, but he was glad for him being there. His heart beat a little faster.

Somewhere, through the halls, L was curled in Light's lap, the two intertwined in sleep.

And somewhere, Near was smiling, happier than he had ever been, in Mello's arms. And Mello was healing. And he was happy too.


End file.
